Depressingly, I completely agree. I don’t understand what’s happened to the world. I think there are no real friends left, or if there are, they are so extremely rare you can’t count on ever meeting one now. It seems like the new thing is to be proud of how much you can rip people off in interpersonal relationships, everyone is now proud of getting theirs at your expense, instead of being ashamed of behaving like that.
This makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. My family follows most of what is shared on this page. Now it is time for reality people! Where do these people even exist anymore? I’m not just talking to the young people here but the ones who have lived some life and hit 30-40+. People in general are all out for themselves anymore and that is the hurtful truth. If they see you can’t give them what they want any more they are done with you. Society is crumbling around us and change needs to happen. We have been played and used by several people we know this year over and over. Here let me smile for you and come into your home, eat your food, pretend to care and then somehow create some drama or a financial burden for you that you did not ask for. Some just stab you in the back over and over till you get a clue. That is the reality known as 2015. People that I would have never considered fake friends stabbed us in the back. It just adds to the misery and constant BS. Today though I can say that I am grateful that we got at least one certain individual out of our lives.
Hi Petra – Also something very trying has been happening lately. My ex has a high profile career in the entertainment business and those who know him (only a few as we kept the affair quite private as people love to gossip) come up to me from time to time with unsolicited “updates” as to his adventures, jobs, whereabouts, social activities and so on. Why on Earth they think this is helpful to me I have no idea. Clearly I am not involved in all these great and fun things, so how is this supposed to make me feel good? Plus I have a television set and a computer and can find this stuff out for myself any time I like. The guy has some wonderful qualities. But he sorely lacks the most important one, which he does not share with me. So no matter how “great” he is, it really does me no good. Every time a well meaning friend tells me they saw him here or there with this one or the other one the pain comes back just like it happened yesterday. I wish people would keep these comments to themselves unless asked. I did ask one friend to let me know if she should hear if he should die as he had lead a rather unhealthy lifestyle in the past. Other than that, whatever he does has no bearing on my life. I knew him very well and there is no sense in going over the same material. It just brings me down at this point when I am really trying to put it behind me. I wish him well, but I wish ME well too And that means turning the page and closing that book. I can’t speak for others because we are all different, but I know my friends can really help if they see it that way. I have had some very uncomfortable conversations with people on this topic, so I try to be tactful when it comes to discussing past relationships with others and let them take the lead, or at least ask a more searching question rather than “I saw your ex on such & such show last night. He looked great.” Thanks! How would they feel if I said I saw you ex while I was on vacation in Europe with a beautiful girl kissing...
I honestly would like to believe that there’s some one out there for me…and sometimes I honestly believe that there is. its weird because everybody think that im married or Im in a relationship. Yet I’ve been single since 2005. Since then I’ve never been on a date, nor asked on a date, no birthday outings, Christmas, valentines day etc. I’ve had a couple of friends over the years and a date has never crossed their minds other than them wanting to have sex. They wanted sex but don’t want to do anything else. Im 35yrs old and sometimes I do feel lonely. I really want to know the feeling of being loved by a the opposite sex. I never know when to really trust men b/c my sisters and mother continuously watch shows or documentaries about men killing women or the women end up missing. That scares me alil bit til I shut down and feel like I shouldn’t date to be safe. that’s not fair to me.Sometimes I know what I want in a relationship other times I don’t. Sometimes I feel like im not ready to find love other times I do. for me to find love, I really think I need to find myself first to understand exactly what I want in a relationship. Relationships, Love, Companionship is a blur to me. I really don’t know.
Hello Weston. I think the best thing for you is to stop worrying about how lame your life is – and start looking for people and activities you enjoy so you can make it less lame. Are there really only jerks in your school? Are there some girls you’d like to get to know better as friends? You never know, you might fall in love that way too – and in a much more natural, relaxed way. Are there other things besides school you could do to put some fun in your life? Just make it a priority to make yourself happy, spend time with people who make you feel good, get to know someone you like as a person, make the most of your relationships. You’re so young and there is plenty of time to find love. And you will once you focus on he things that make you happy and fulfilled, you’ll become much more fun to be around too – so more girls will be interested in you, and the right one will come along more easily. How you feel about yourself and your life plays a big role in how people perceive you, and how much they want to be in your company.
I am pretty young. I have had one serious relationship, and it has not been pretty. It has been over two years of breaking up and making up and thinking we’re right for each other and wrong for each other. A lot of it has been one of us wanting to try and waiting and holding on until the other feels the same again. We have been through a lot of things together and we have a deep connection that neither of us can really let go it seems like. We’ve both tried moving on and I even had a relationship with someone else (very short and ended because I felt I was not putting my whole self into it because I still had feelings for my ex and it was not fair to him.) We always seem to find our way back to each other whether it’s because of familiarity and comfort or actual love just happening in the wrong times and not working. I know I love him and I know he loves me, but this pattern has taken a huge toll on me and has taken away any hope I have of having a connection with someone else that won’t just simply be overshadowed by the connection I have/had with my ex. I know there is love out there I’m just really afraid that this guy is the one I’m meant to be with so I can’t give up even though sometimes it feels like I would be so much happier with someone new, but then again I see no one new in sight. Having that hope and faith to trust others regardless of it being romantic or platonic is something I really struggle with.
The rest of the developed world doesn’t have as many shooting as America does. But America is improving every year and whenever America’s crime goes down, the amount of teenage sexuality goes up. I mean I hear parents constantly comparing how much more sexual teens are today than they used to, and back in the late 20th century America had way more crime and violence than today. My dad moved out of the cities because the violence in America’s cities was so horrible in the 70s 80s and 90s. Meanwhile back then there was actually a stigma among teens themselves if you had had sex, and it almost never occurred in a casual sense. Now at least in my high school but from what I’ve seen others too friends with benefits relationships are by far the most popular. Teens don’t even really date anymore, and I can see why because too many people had their hearts broken by those kind of relationships. Honestly it’s probably a better idea to have casual sex when your young and then find a soul mate to settle down with because when your young the break ups just completely devastate you, and they can affect you for months afterwards. I’m sure it’s not too different when your older but I guess your better equipped for it later.
And the hypocrisy of adults continues. Why do you always say two consenting adults? What is so horrible about two consenting teens that your so blindly opposed too. There is literally no case that supports that teenagers should not be having sex, in-fact forcing that on them is harmful. Studies show that societies that repress their sexuality especially adolescent sexuality are (quoting wikipedia) plagued by acts of rage and tend to have higher rates of crime and violence. There may be a link between sexual repression and aggression, insensitivity, criminal behaviour, and a greater likelihood of killing and torturing enemies. All of these traits are established in the teenage years which shape one’s personality as an adult the most.
America though does repress teenagers sexuality more than the rest of the developed world does. It’s certainly better than alot of countries but it still does with abstinence education, religious groups trying to restrict their access to contraption, and parents trying to prevent their teens from having sex. In European and South American countries teens can get condoms at the school entrance, they are given all the information they need in order to use contraption correctly, and alot of parents allow teens to have sex in their house with full knowledge that they are doing it.
Sweet. That's a funny word in this context, now that we come to think of it. There's nothing about nice people that makes them sweet, unless you go out of your way to caramelize them. So what started this association between "sweet" and "nice"? Their everyday behavior, apparently -- it looks like munching on candy can turn a person into a regular good Samaritan.
Imagine a likeable person. Pay particular attention to the qualities that make people perceive her as "nice." You might describe her as helpful. Fun, definitely. Honest when it counts, malleable enough to take the punches while you run away from the MMA fighter you just drunkenly mooned. All that goes with the territory. Perhaps, if you're feeling sappy enough, you might even describe the person as "sweet."
We're not talking about the obvious here, the way goths and metalheads deal in black boots, hippies have their sandals, and hipsters will tie their grandmother's old curtains around their feet if it gives them an excuse to look down on someone. According to science, the soled husks that cover a stranger's feet are probably revealing details about how they deal with other people.
As for why, the scientists couldn't offer a guess. We're going to speculate that gestures made by stressed or annoyed people, such as the finger or that sarcastic "jerking off" motion, are more easily made with the left hand, so they instinctively need to keep it free. Prove us wrong, science.